You Never Get To Choose...
by AngelQueen1
Summary: There are some things in life you just never get to choose, but what is it?
1. Telling the Story

**Hey! As I promised this is my new one. I'm not sure if I should continue but again it is my choice but I'd love to hear what you think. So review and let me know.

                                                                                                Melissa**

You Never Get To Choose…

Rory's P.O.V.

' Have you ever just wanted to beat someone up? Of course, what was I thinking? I never thought this would happen. It just wasn't supposed to. Confused? Not as much as I am. Maybe it would help if I did a recap for you.'

' I got accepted into Chilton, the prestigious academy school, last year at the beginning of my sophomore year. At first I wasn't sure I was going to be able to go. Considering, my mom and I aren't rich. So my mom asked my Grandma for help. She did on a few conditions. So that's how I ended up at Chilton.'

' To those who had went there all their lives, I didn't belong. But I didn't care. It put me one step closer to my dream, Harvard. My first day, I met him. His name I did not know but he decided to call me Mary. Later I found out that he was the " King of Chilton", Tristan DuGrey.'

' From that day one, he called me Mary, teased me, and attempted to get me to go out with him. To him I was another notch on the belt of the girls he had slept with. Seeing that I always turned him down he just kept annoying me.'

' A few weeks after he started calling me Mary, I met Dean. He asked me out and we started dating. I asked him to the Winter Formal and he said yes. By then we were semi-serious. Unfortunently, the night of the dance Dean and Tristan met. I had told Dean about Tristan, so you know that there was an instant dislike. Boys being boys decided to get in a fist fight, and as soon as someone broke it up, Dean and I left.'

' Two months later it was our 3-month anniversary. The night ended badly, due to the fact Dean told me he loved me. I couldn't say anything back, because at that point I was unsure of my feelings. I decided not to wallow as my mother advised, and the next day I went to Madeline's party.'

' Summer and Tristan broke up that night and after the commotion ended she left and he went off. I wanted to find a quiet corner to read in and in the first room I entered I saw Tristan. He was playing a song on the piano and we started to talk. We came to the conclusion that both Dean and Summer were idiots.'

' We ended up kissing and I thought of Dean. When he pulled away he saw tears in my eyes. He made a joke and I ran away. Smart move. The next day I told him that it meant nothing, but inside I knew I was lying.'

' Why? Because I realized something. You don't get to choose who you fall in love with. Over the months I had known Tristan something happened. Even though I was with Dean I developed feelings for Tristan. Those feelings slowly grew into love. So you can see why I am so confused.'

' But it gets worse. At the end of the year, Tristan asked me to a P.J. Harvey concert. Here was my chance but I said no. At the end of the day, he had taken my books and I told him to keep them. That's when I saw him. Dean. He had come to getme back, he said but thought I was with Tristan. I then proceeded to tell him I hated Tristan and that I loved him.'

' I did'nt see him leave but I knew he had. I had lied to Dean and to myself. I was trying to protect myself, but from what? Loving Tristan? I know I told Dean what I told him because I was afraid that Tristan was after one thing. I guess I'll never know.'

' Tristan returned my books, but I didn't get to see him. He just left them and didn't give me a chance to defend myself. My relationship with Dean is fizzling. I haven't been able to tell him that I love him since that fateful day, and I know he wonders why.'

' But what can I say? I don't love him. I love him as a friend, even a brother. Not good. I'm not sure what to do. I need help with this. I think that Dean knows that we're over. We hardly doing anything together anymore.'

' I can hardly wait until the beginning of junior year. I have a lot of things to make up for. Just how do I go about these things?'

' Life sucks. It has so many loopholes and curves that you can never see. Don't let anyone fool you. Listen to someone with experience. You don't get to choose everything that happens in your life. All of us are mortal. We die when we do. We don't choose how, when or why we die. It's the same thing for love. You don't choose who, when, how, or why you fall in love with a specific person. It just isn't done.'

' If I had a choice, do you think I would have fell in love with Tristan? Maybe, but maybe not. I'll never know. Considering it's too late anyways. I love Tristan and there is nothing I can do. You don't get to choose who you love and I know that now. Better then I ever did.'

' You see I thought I choose who I fell in love with. And when, how, and why I fell in love with that person. But I didn't. I never had the chance to and I never will. You see he's the one I will always love and if he is happy with someone else, then I wish him luck. I just wish he was happy with me.'

' Dreams are wishes your heart desires my mom told me. Of course I know she got that from Cinderella, but it fits. I Dream about loving him and him loving me. I know my heart wishes that.'

' Life shouldn't be so confusing. It just isn't fair. But when was life fair? Never.'


	2. Changing Feelings

Changing Feelings

' Love. What does this our letter word actually mean? One day I pulled out my dictionary and saw that it defined love as: 1. Strong affection or liking for someone or something; 2. A passionate affection of one person for another; 3. The object of such affection; 4. A sweetheart or lover. I never knew that this simple word would describe how I feel about her.'

_' Maybe I should start from he beginning. My name is Tristan DuGrey and I am the crowned "king" of Chilton, the school I attend. Less then two weeks into my sophomore year I was already running late. As I walked into my first period class, I saw her.'_

_' Immediately, I nicknamed her Mary. She seemed so innocent, so you can see where I came up with the name Mary. Determination made me decide that I would make her the flavor of the week. No girl could turn me down. But guess what, she did.'_

_' Later I found out she was Rory Gilmore. I had heard her tell me her name but soon forgot it. By digging a little deeper I found out her mom was Lorelai Gilmore and she had gotten pregnant at 16 with Rory.'_

_' After she refused m once, I refused to give up. Every day I went out of my way to torture her. I teased her, hurt her, and asked her out constantly. But every time I asked her out she said no.'_

_' I asked her to the Winter Formal, but she said no, saying she had someone to go out with. That night I went, sure she would show up alone, but guess who I met? Dean, Rory's boyfriend. Great. I don't know what happened but we picked a fight with each other and soon we were throwing punches. I'm not sure who, but someone broke us up and they left.'_

_' Two months later, things had changed between us. Well more like with me. The feelings I had had for Rory had changed. But what my feelings were now, I was unsure.'_

_' Summer and I were dating the night of the party. We had gone to Madeline's party together, but Summer, being the hoe she is, went off with some guy. Later that night I was sick of that shit, so I said we were leaving. I don't remember what happened but, suddenly, in front of everyone, we were over. She left with the guy she had ditched me for and I went off to find a quiet corner.'_

_' I had only been there for a few minutes, when the door slowly creaked open. It was her. I accused her off loving that and she told me she didn't. I knew she was being sincere. We talked about school and I found out that Dean and her were also over.'_

_' By the end of conversation, we had figured out that both Dean and Summer were idiots. They should be together. Don't ask me how it happened, but one second I was looking at her and the next I was kissing her.'_

_' It was an amazing kiss. It was nothing like all the other kisses I had had. When I was able to pull away, I looked at her. I saw tears in her eyes, and I said something about biting her lip. Suddenly, fear entered her eyes and she got up and ran away in tears.'_

_' The next week at school, we talked. Rory agreed with me when I said the kiss meant nothing. It killed me inside when she agreed. Inside I was hoping she would say no, it meant something. But I didn't show my pain, I agreed and we talked some more. After that day, we formed a tentative friendship.'_

_' Fast-forward a couple months. We are now at the last day of school. I had gotten to P.J. Harvey, a guy I knew Rory loved, and instead of asking her to go, I basically told her to go. Smooth move, works on other girls but Rory, no. I told everyone she was going with me and I helped ruin her friendship with Paris, even ours.'_

_' By the end of the day I was sure she would agree to go, but she said no again. I stole her books and refused to give them back unless she went with me. But, she told me to keep them and when she turned to leave, she saw him.'_

_' Dean. He told Rory he had come here to get back together and thought we were together. I was so happy when he turned to leave, but then she opened her mouth. She yelled that she loved him and hated me.'_

_' No matter what anyone tells you, I have feelings. That hurt, She declared her hatred towards me, in front of everyone. I dropped her books and left. I couldn't bear to watch them kiss.'_

_' The next day I returned her books. I didn't hand them to her, I took the coward's way out, I left them on the doorstep. '_

_' I never did go to the concert. Later I found out that P.J. Harvey was a girl and not a boy like I had thought.'_

_' I slowly came to the conclusion that I never had a chance. The way I acted ruined any chance I ever had. She was like a tornado. She came into my life, turned everything upside down and left. But the thing is I want her to come back.'_

_' I never wanted to fall in love. I never wanted to fall in love with her. Even if I had, wouldn't I have fell in love with someone else? I guess I'll never know now. Although I love her, I would never ruin what she has with Dean. I want her to be happy, even if it isn't with me.'_

_' I wish I had learned this lesson a different way. Like reading it. It hurts too much to actually have to go through it.'_

_' The lesson I learned is a rather important one. You don't choose who you fall in love with. One day, you wake up and bam, you're in love. Look at me, over the course of a year, lust turned into love.'_

_' I'm Tristan Dugrey, "king of Chilton". I could have any girl I want but I fell in love with the one that is off limits to me. My feelings about Rory will never be returned.'_

_' Why does fate have to be so cruel? Why does it mess with people's emotions? Their lives? Why does it constantly give you false hope? Will this ever work out?'_

_' I feel like I am trapped. Trapped in a movie. Great plot. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl hates boy. Boy hurt. What will happen in the end?'_

_' Okay, I'll admit it. I don't want her to be happy! Unless it's with me.'_

' I don't know what to do. Life sucks. It just isn't fair. But life was never fair. Especially not to me.' 


End file.
